She’s back!
I apologize for the blogging drought as of late! A quick run-through of the past few weeks:
- spring cleaning (a week of purging hell),
- spring weeding (gardening is NOT my forte),
- spring twitterpating (!!!), and
- summer planning (yay, trips).
Between the long work days and nightly phonecalls, updating this blog has, quite regrettably, fallen to the bottom of the list. Don’t worry… I will work on my time management and update this as often as possible! The stories will be back with full force in no time flat.
I suppose my first update should be about my brand new relationship status.
That’s right… I somehow suckered an amazing guy into being my boyfriend, and let me tell you, this relationship is already unlike any that I’ve had before. I’m pretty sure I cashed in all my karma chips for him. In the beginning, I found myself falling into familiar defensive behavior: I was cautious, self-deprecating, deflective (not a typo; I didn’t mean to type “defective” .. although now that I think about it, perhaps I should), and probably not showing myself to be as bright and shiny as I really am. Somewhere along the way, though, I just stopped caring about that because dammit, I owed it to myself to enjoy this to the fullest, and I owed it to him to be completely open and honest. And so it began.
It has taken awhile, but now that it has finally sunk in, I’m excited to share with you how incredibly happy I feel. Don’t you worry, the quality of this blog won’t change much. After all, my mother will always badger me, conversations with friends will provide me with fodder, and I will most likely continue to find myself in uncomfortable/generally awkward situations. I’m not planning on airing many specifics about the relationship itself, because you know what? He’s mine. I haven’t even told the parents yet (even though previous blog posts would suggest that doing so would be the smart choice) because then he wouldn’t be MY boyfriend anymore; he’d be OUR boyfriend. So what? I’m feeling a little selfish. I’m just not ready to share him quite yet.
While I am perfectly content with the relationship, other women in my position might not be. They might produce laundry lists detailing requirements for their Perfect Man; I would expect that “allergic to the whole world” and “kind of a dork” aren’t in their top ten. A friend of mine (single male) recently sent me the following link about settling for Mr. Good Enough, asking me how I felt about it. I remembered reading about the author on CNN and various other news sites, and learning about the intense backlash that arose in response to her apparent suggestion that women should settle. But look past the negative implication of the word itself and think instead about it in conjunction with women’s demands in their search for the perfect mate.
Females have such ridiculous requirements when it comes to their vision of The Perfect Man. Stereotypically, the most common demands are for men to be able to cook and clean, be good with children, be rich, funny, athletic, poised, and to be be tall, dark and handsome. You might as well face it now: guys aren’t going to hit every point. Women need to curb their expectations and stop overlooking perfectly good men just to hold out for that fairytale relationship. It’s crazy, unrealistic, and frankly, extremely juvenile. Are we, as grown women, really expecting (and wanting) that prince who has been searching for that one princess soulmate (::cough:: aimless bachelor) on his white mare to rescue her from her certain doom (singlehood)? Really? Ironically enough, in deriding the author for taking a step back during our ever-evolving, twenty-first century feminist movement, and simultaneously revealing their views that women should indeed choose only the best of the best –their pedestaled Prince Charmings– women have revealed, sadly, how little they have moved forward after all.
I don’t tend to pass on email forwards, but I received one recently that I feel is appropriate given the subject of this entry:
Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.”
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don’t freakin think so.
THAT is what I think of your princes. It’s not that I’m bitter and cynical; I just believe that women all too often lust after too much of the wrong thing. I don’t agree with the critcism over the author’s use of the term “good enough” or her encouragement to women to settle for less. She isn’t telling women to date men who are emotionally undeveloped or incomplete; she’s reminding our sex to reevaluate what is important to us. Lessen the demands. Be content with having someone who meets so many of your expectations but just happens to be disorganized, an awkward dancer, or a non-chef. Who cares, so you’ll get takeout more often. Is that so bad?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date.
